today was the kids' first official day "off" from school. i feel like i should go ahead and jump head first into summer fun, but i am just not there yet. aaron went to a Cardinal game, i was generally crabby, and the kids were a weensy bit challenging.
bedtime whack-a-mole was especially lengthy with one and then the other popping back out...
"love you mom"
"night mom"
"see you in the morning mom"
all set to me gritting my teeth trying not to scream at them to get the hell back to bed.
and then tears. from A this time, not me, though I could've cried too.
i wandered back into her room and she was sobbing.
"what's the matter?"
"i just lo-oo-oo-ve you (hiccup). i don't want you to die"
she was so sad.
in fact, she has been so preoccupied with this lately that it is starting to freak me out a little. Maybe i should get some tests run...
i just held her and told her i am not dying and when eventually (hopefully in the very distant future) i am gone, i will always be in her heart.
she cried and cried (and so did baby S from the other room because it was feeding time) and i just wanted to freeze time. there i sat with her little arms around my neck, her tear-stained face buried in my shoulder, asking "will you always be with me?" and i fast forwarded to a teenage A who wonders "why won't mom leave me alone?"
i can only hope i don't forget what her beautiful face looks like at 4 precious years old with fat tears stuck to her longer than long lashes, her tangled, pink princess night gown, and her down-turned mouth saying how much she loves me.
because even when she is pushing me away and demanding independence she will always be with me.
Showing posts with label night parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label night parenting. Show all posts
Monday, May 26, 2014
Friday, December 17, 2010
A Tale of Two Nightimes
Sometimes I cannot believe just how different night parenting can be from one night to the next. My last thought before drifting off to sleep is usually a plea with the Lord above to send angels to sleep with my babies and keep them safe and ASLEEP.
For months we dealt with my 3 year old ending up in bed with us 2 or 3 times a night. I would either wake to find him mouth breathing into my personal face space or else spread over my feet inviting propulsion off the bed like Max the family dog. I am happy to say that the sleep chart with stickers that I blogged about previously has been a rollicking success (I hope I am not jinxing myself) and he happily sleeps all night alone in his room again.... thank you sleep angels :)
And then there's my little one, the "good" sleeper. I know from my first child that things change month to month and sometimes night to night depending on teeth and bowels and separation anxiety and weather and the volume of the hubby's snores but it is never any easier when those changes sleep deprive momma!
I am writing this relatively rested. She nursed to sleep last night at her newly chosen 8:30 (which is a relatively new thing for us- we tend to keep them up a little later than the "sleep experts" recommend but they sleep longer in the morning and we see them more at night and it just works for our family) and did not wake to eat until 6:00. She promptly fell to sleep at the breast and is still happily snoozing away next to my husband who is home on a snow day (and it is 9). Way to go baby girl- that's the stuff books are written about!
Except that the night before she was awake pretty much the entire night! My husband took her into the spare bedroom for a few hours so I could get some sleep and then I took her to reciprocate the deal. She was whiny and restless and refused to sleep in her crib. I suffered through yesterday with sleepy dusted eyelids and a crabby countenance. Did I want to reach for a pillow? Yes. Did I want to reach for a sleep book? No.
Like I said before, it's all about stages and changes and really truly they figure it out. As long as there are a few nights of uninterrupted sleep and iced coffee drinks, I can make it- after all, when they are too cool for me I will be aching for those nighttime snuggles!
For months we dealt with my 3 year old ending up in bed with us 2 or 3 times a night. I would either wake to find him mouth breathing into my personal face space or else spread over my feet inviting propulsion off the bed like Max the family dog. I am happy to say that the sleep chart with stickers that I blogged about previously has been a rollicking success (I hope I am not jinxing myself) and he happily sleeps all night alone in his room again.... thank you sleep angels :)
And then there's my little one, the "good" sleeper. I know from my first child that things change month to month and sometimes night to night depending on teeth and bowels and separation anxiety and weather and the volume of the hubby's snores but it is never any easier when those changes sleep deprive momma!
I am writing this relatively rested. She nursed to sleep last night at her newly chosen 8:30 (which is a relatively new thing for us- we tend to keep them up a little later than the "sleep experts" recommend but they sleep longer in the morning and we see them more at night and it just works for our family) and did not wake to eat until 6:00. She promptly fell to sleep at the breast and is still happily snoozing away next to my husband who is home on a snow day (and it is 9). Way to go baby girl- that's the stuff books are written about!
Except that the night before she was awake pretty much the entire night! My husband took her into the spare bedroom for a few hours so I could get some sleep and then I took her to reciprocate the deal. She was whiny and restless and refused to sleep in her crib. I suffered through yesterday with sleepy dusted eyelids and a crabby countenance. Did I want to reach for a pillow? Yes. Did I want to reach for a sleep book? No.
Like I said before, it's all about stages and changes and really truly they figure it out. As long as there are a few nights of uninterrupted sleep and iced coffee drinks, I can make it- after all, when they are too cool for me I will be aching for those nighttime snuggles!
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