we can do things

you have a kid and the world literally stops. he is your first and you are thrust into this foreign world of sleep deprivation and poop and leaking boobs and you sink or swim for a few weeks or even months. and somewhere in there, you discover that even though you are no longer "you" but instead a you plus one, somebody has to get some groceries. you plus one plan your trip with a dedication that rivals your professional board exam prep... you have 13 spare onsies and 14 diapers, a pacifier that he has never taken to, 3 burp cloths and an extra mom shirt. the car seat stands ready. he has eaten. he has been thoroughly burped and changed. you are ready.
you drive to the store. park. pray.
you plus one can do this.
you leave him in the carseat because he fell asleep on the way and there is no way you are going to risk waking him. it is the quickest trip ever- no list- no coupons- minimal eye contact with strangers. when he makes a small peep, your heart races, ready for the screams.
somehow, you make it through and walk back to the car. the sky is blue and the birds are singing and you realize that you plus one can leave the house alone. you can sorta do things just like you used to.

then you have baby 2 and you panic at the thought of taking the two of them anywhere. you avoid the grocery store because you plus two is a whole different ballgame. baby 1 is now a toddler and nobody wants to see him in a tantrum. but then out of necessity, you again join society. you toss a spare diaper in your purse, but nothing else because moms of 2 are known to live dangerously. you wear baby girl in a sling and push toddler boy in the cart. you might fend off a few moments of panic, but eventually it is no big thing. life goes on. you plus 2 are rockstars.

then comes baby 3. three kids.
this changes things because you only have 2 hands.

BUT IT IS SUMMER
and kid 1 and 2 are bored. already.

you have successfully navigated the store 3 or 4 times alone with the wolf pack in tow. you didn't even take your bag with you because the store is right down the street and if baby 3 poops all over her clothes, you wouldn't want to drag them all into the bathroom anyway. you get adventurous and hit the library. it goes okay- nobody kicks you out so you dream big. maybe you plus 3 can go big places this summer and no one will throw tantrums or run into traffic or rip your top down and demand to be fed.
maybe...

stop and go. and stop. or just go

is it just me, or does everyone come to a 4 way stop at the same exact time as the car to your right, wave them on since it is their right of way and then sit and stare at them, eybrows raised as they wave back.
why does that piss me off so much??
it is every time! if someone waves at you to go... GO... don't wave back all ladies and ford escapes first...
every other time, i expect politeness, but not at a four way- just go people. when i get there clearly BEFORE the next person though, they very nearly always shoot through the intersection like they are being shot out of a cannon... driving is just so hard, you know.
anyway, november is for being thankful, so i will start that tomorrow.
today i am crabby.
and in pain- my stupid rib is all jacked up (a technical term of course) and my chiropractor is unavailable. and even though you doctor folk might relaize this already, it is not effective to try to kinesiotape your own injuries when they are behind you and over your dominant shoulder. you just might injure another 1 or 17 ribs getting into position.
so once again, tomorrow.
i will be thankful tomorrow.

until then.
i will try to distract myself with uber halloween cuteness.

 nintendo has never seen such characters as these sugared up lovelies :)

growing, growing, gone

if I being honest, N has spent most of the last two years on my last nerve, which is a testament to just how long a nerve can stretch... i adore him with my entire being but he is my child, and by default, he got a little bit of my crazy.

he trots off to the world of a school kid next week and i truly do not know how to walk him up those steps and deposit him into academia without me around to hold his hand and shake my head at his antics.
how will i be able to leave a little piece of heart in a classroom and acknowledge that the last five years are in fact, behind me? he is so small, but he was so much smaller.

in many ways i feel like i wasted so much of our time together. i specifically worked part-time to spend more hours at home with him and his sister. i had such high hopes for projects and day trips and teaching by example.

for months and years, we had time, time, time.
time to read stories the next day because too much work had to be done.
time to accept instead of correct.
time to mess up our parenting a zillion times without them remembering.
time to almost fantasize about when he was "older" or more "self-sufficient" or more "independent"...

damn it.
that time is now. and i can't help but feel i didn't have enough time.
i didn't lead a good enough example.
i didn't just enjoy it for what it was.

there is no amount of perfection that would be more than what he deserves and though i have certainly tried very hard to be a good mom, i can only hope that it was enough. i pray that he will be a well-adjusted little person that is respectful and kind, that can take criticism and direction. i pray that he uses that crazy strong will for leadership. most of all, i pray that he knows just how much i love every sweet, crabby, spirited and handsome fiber of his little self and that he feels that my thoughts are with him through the day.

i think there was at least time enough to teach him that.

so i gained a few "travel" pounds

well.
it IS that time of year again- no sense denying it, much as i want to.
it's detox time.
and you thought i was going to say something about back to school :)
well that too, sorta. for Aaron at least.
i've got a few more weeks until fall semester (i am still in the midst of summer session actually) and almost that long  until i curl into the fetal position and sob into my knees about sending N off to kindergarten.

but detox time is NOW people. and it sucks just like the last time we said we'd never do it again.
so if detox time and relatively fleeting misery is now, blissful family travel time was last week.

and i think i'll just attempt to revel in that for awhile. maybe it will distract me from my raging caffeine withdrawal headache or the hunger pangs. it was a glorious week full of sand and seafood, airplanes and gators. let's start from the beginning, shall we??
(ridiculous photo overload disclaimer now)

we drove overnight to pensacola beach, fl in an effort to avoid as much backseat kiddo drama as possible- it was generally successful except for being left with zombie parents who would spontaneously pass out in the hotel room beginning at 3 pm. there were several seconds or possibly a full 20 minutes where i'm sure our children were without proper parental supervision but try not to judge too harshly lest you be faced with well rested, vacation-food stuffed minions hyped up on how exciting hotel rooms are on zero hours of sleep. it happens ya'll. i am saying ya'll now as you will soon understand. before our said hotel check-in, we had driven STRAIGHT to the beach, because, obviously. it was overcast and sprinkly and completely fabulous all the same because no one was there.


after a few hours of hotel narcolepsy, we decided we had to get out again because there was no way we would remain awake until bedtime if the lovely pillow-topped beds kept sucking us in. plus, you gotta cram as much vacation in as possible, according to me at least. Aaron is more the resting on vacation-type but i usually win. we got cleaned up and headed to pensacola beach. and on the way, this happened...

I know.

 it is a perfect beach party destination with scores of restaurants, beach bars and shops. we found the perfect place for us at Flounders Chowder House. on the beach. beach music. sand volleyball. frosty drinks. playground... perfect. and delicious.

Oh so you're saying you'd rather be snuggling in the hotel bed right now? Interesting.

Interestingly enough, Flounders was also the site of the largest toddler tantrum fiesta to date. Wow.
The next day found us all happy and well rested and up for a day of sunshine, which had decided to come back. We drove through Firehouse Subs to get some sandwiches. Actually we drove through twice because Aaron "forgot" to order the first time... hmmm maybe not so well-rested. We took our picnic back to the same beach at Perdido Key State Park and were delighted to see that there were only a few more people than the day before. Score.

on the way back, we grabbed ice cream and found an amazing playground. and we sweated. and felt sad for a little girl who informed N that 1) her mom was in jail and 2) her daddy cried because her mom said she didn't love him anymore and then she asked me to take her picture. so i did but you can't see it. the things you learn on playgrounds...

we stopped off at the Mellow Mushroom for pizza on the way home. also a great place. it was trivia night and we dominated until little people had had enough fun for one day and we had to hightail it out of there. plus, my skin felt a little fried and i was wearing only my swimsuit cover-up.

the next day promised rain. we heading to the naval air station/naval aviation museum where Aaron was in absolute heaven. he loves planes. he even used to fly and hopefully he will again soon.

on our way out of town, we paused at the Crab Trap for one more beach dining experience and more seafood gluttony. so good. it was raining so we ate inside, but took one last walk to the sand before hitting the road for baton rouge, la where my husband's family lives.

 before i start in one leg 2 of vacay, i'd like to mention that i am still hungry with a mild headache. for those of you still with us, here we go...

on friday, we were starting to feel a little tired, so we rested up for the morning and then headed out to see some baton rouge sites in the afternoon. the uss kidd is a battleship that was hit by a kamikaze pilot in ww2, and was repaired before it headed back out for the invasion of japan. it is well preserved and very interesting. it also fit in with our overall vacation theme of warfare in all types. we sweated more in case you're wondering.

that evening brought a boy's plane ride with aaron's uncle. A was in general distress the entire time watching "brudder" and daddy take off and leave us and she ran to them as soon as they got out. it was pretty cute.



the next day began with a kid-free brunch date at my favorite restaurant in the world, Cafe Des Amis. they have a zydeco breakfast every saturday and it is fantastic. zydeco band. mimosas and bloody marys. dancing. eggs benaud, stuffed beignets, and cafe au lait. it has everything. we were there 4 years ago and some of the SAME people were there dancing. you must go.

this handsome gent was there four years ago dancing with all the ladies. keeps him young!

and as if the day wasn't great enough, we took the kids to Kleibert's Alligator and Turtle Farm for the afternoon. they were on the history channel's swamp people special before there was a Swamp People show. gators, gators everywhere. big one's and small one's, all who are scary ones.

and then there was gumbo.

also lots of family time and frozen yogurt. and pocoyo on portable dvd.

i'd like to do it all again tomorrow.

ps- still hungry ya'll