Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Friday, February 1, 2013

i'm no kate upton

so my assets are not what they used to be.
it's a given after the two kids. maybe someday after i know i am done stretching out my entire midsection, i will give serious thought to making it pretty again, but it seems like an awful lot of work to just go mess it all up again if i am re-impregnated.
the boobs?
well i  think i am screwed there- i really miss my pre-nursing boobs even though i am proud of the ladies doing their job.
but my "lower half" definitely spared better than the top half, at least the parts that weren't directly exposed to an emergent crying alien ( i won't even go there, but seriously, the post-baby private part situation is something no one warns you about). anyway, my butt is reasonably okay still and i think A likes it because he swats it quite often in passing.

that is so flirtatious, right? i think i broke up with my first boyfriend at age 11and after 1 day of our serious relationship because he did that.
so i assume that maybe i can use his butt admiration to my advantage and acentuate the positive from time to time in the single pair of leggings that i own. i bought them almost a full year ago and  i wear them around the house with the frequency at which i wear any of my other comfy pants. i don't even cover them with major sweathsirt action.

i can be flirtatious too you know.
last night i was wearing them and A asked me "when did you buy those pants?"
did you catch that? he has NEVER NOTICED ME WEARING THEM BEFORE.
so much for emphasizing the booty. it has escaped notice for A WHOLE YEAR.

psssht. i don't even know what to think now. there is nothing else to emphasize.