Monday, April 30, 2012

Let's just turn you into a World Series contender, shall we??

"Mom I'm tired.
I have used up my whole energy supply. I'm at the bottom.
Can you go ahead and get out my snack and I'll be done?"

My N. Wonderfully smart and dramatic. He ran to the fence in the middle of his first little league game and proclaimed himself finished. I sent him back out.

"Daaaad. Dad. How much longer?"

Dad happens to be the coach.
Positioned across the field near another little person who was sitting on the third base line, he just shook his head.

It's T-Ball time folks. Might be a long season :)

Saturday, April 28, 2012

not sure who is happier

Proof that you don't need a smile to exude happiness :)
This is my entry for the weekly photo challenge with The Paper Mama. The topic? Happiness, of course. Have a delightful Saturday everyone!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Expletive, Expletive!

I am a closeted potty mouth. As in when I am in an enclosed space surrounded by moronic motorists, the words really start flying. Or if I am typing in cyberland I guess, but my kids can't read curse words yet so I think I am good.
In general I try to really watch the potty-mouthness though I admit it escapes on occasion. Like the "Dammit!" last night when a naked bootied post-bath girlie PEED on big brother's bed in the 2.5 seconds it took me to walk across the room for a diaper. And then she took said diaper back off in the 2.7 seconds it took me to strip big brother's sodden sheets and I had to chase her giggling self down to redress. The nakedness- I loathe it.
But what the hell people?? How is driving that hard? Put it in gear and depress gas pedal. When you must stop, depress brake. Turn signal on to change lanes or turn. Don't hit anything.
I almost die about 12 times a commute. Sometimes I must stop all the way in moving traffic to accommodate someone who is trying to get out of an exit only lane... or into a lane from an on-ramp... or who decided to just give up watching the road and wander their zillion-ton Denali into my very moving lane. Sometimes I must vear onto a shoulder or slam the gas pedal to the floor. And it pisses me off. every. time. An expletive is fired off. every. time. If I am sans-kids of course.
And I am at work today and sans-kids so the ride home could get a little colorful if these damn morons don't get their driving shizz together!
And then I'll have to rinse my mouth out with soap.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Birthday Style: A's April

Ahhhhhhh. Birthdays. Those rare days where cake is appropriate at any hour. I Love Birthdays. I love your Birthday and mine, his and hers. I don't discriminate. My girlfriends and I used to celebrate Birthday WEEK in college so I'm gonna stretch it out even more and say that my stinker A deserved a whole month of Birthday. Even though we didn't technically do that, it would excuse the lack of Birthday posts in a timely fashion. Since I seem to be behind on everything these days, please excuse--- maybe have a piece of cake or something. Cake always helps :)

Our Birthday girl got momma all to herself because big brother had playdate and she was pretty excited. We got her dressed in her pink tutu skirt (from her FIRST Birthday) and bought balloons and picked out special cupcakes and took lots of pictures of our special time- and one of her two new Hello Kitty purses.

And then, because turning TWO requires TWO parties... and we were home for Easter, we had a little "Bird-day" Celebration. She is crazy about all things birdie but until recently referred to them only as beedas, which made us die with cuteness about every time.

It was a tiny tiny little party but I still had fun putting it together and eating cake balls and the chocolate-peanut butter bird nests seen below for 14 hours. Seriously- at least 14 hours. Or 15.

Our sweet girl got some great love and great gifts because we are so very blessed. And then she even got to Easter it up the next day. Not a bad Birthday run milady!

And guess what? My Birthday month starts next week ;)

Friday, April 13, 2012

things i learned in a restroom stall: part 3

privates, butt, penis, balls... wiener even.
he WON'T stop talking about them. my son, not my husband, though i am sure he is equally as proud of his manhood. completely sure in fact. in his college glory days especially. hence all the awesome anatomically incorrect terminology that N has learned

but my son. my teeny tiny little man. he is FOUR.
he is obsessed and i am freaked the hell out.
i am waiting for a random call from his school (desperately hoping it will be them and not protective services or something) because what kind of kid references his privates 700 times a day?!?!
"look at me mom- i'm touching my privates."
"mom- am i not supposed to talk about penises?"
"sorry i bumped my balls into you!"
for real kid.
stop. it.
stop it or i won't delete this post when you're older and there will be an arsenal full of embarrassing info for your 16 year-old girlfriend.
stop it or i'll make you start staying home from preschool so you can't freak out your teachers.
stop it or i'll be forced to squirt you with a water bottle every time you mention your member (let's pretend i wouldn't enjoy that last one).

i think it is a stage. i am fairly certain that other mothers have stressed about their child saying stuff like this and it being misconstrued. and i am sure that i have made it worse by trying to stifle his comments.

but most of all, i know he has learned that he can push my buttons... i just wish he would wash his hands first.

Things I Learned in a Restroom Stall: Part 1
Things I Learned in a Restroom Stall: Part 2

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Ten On Ten [4.10.12]: The Easter Post Will Have To Wait Edition

I realized it was the tenth when I logged onto Blogger this morning and happened upon a bit of sunshine in my reader... whoop! It was just in time to still give it a go.
This month's Ten On Ten: One shot every hour for ten hours- what did your day look like?

8:00 Where do I even begin?

9:00 Miss Sassy Pants heading to the babysitter

10:00 Peter

11:00 Max- doing what Max does best

12:00 Putting make-up on in the parking lot before class

1:00 Grandma Chic

2:00 I love fishes cause they're so delicious

3:00 My vatican cross

5:00 (I missed an hour) Snack before TBall practice

7:00 (I missed another hour) Practice is over- let's go eat!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

and she justs keeps getting prettier!

this girl.

yeah, this one.
she is two today.

 does time fly or something?

she is sassy and sweet.
all smiles and hugs and scrunchy faced frowns wrapped in a mini little package.
(so mini, in fact, that she hasn't gained a single pound all year. she was an itty one from the start and after some initial chunkification, she has turned into a beanpole with a belly. she sounds like the perfect candidate for a day of icing covered confections)

she is perfectly marvelous and she is mine!

Happy Happy Birthday Gorgeous :)

ps- did someone say cake?