these snooty little rich girls have nothing on me

 I haven't posted anything since Monday so you probably think I have been lying around eating bon-bons or something... not so much the case. In addition to recovering from the (overdramaticized) canoe swamping heard round the world), I have been crazily finishing off my last week of summer session and am now a happy professor on summer sabbatical.... or maybe just a six week break before fall semester kicks in. I think sabbatical sounds much more impressive, like I am a full-time, life-changing, mind-stretching dead poet society type.
But no, despite the impressive use of hyphenated words, I spend many more hours on facebook than in the classroom. I eat cheap fake Mexican, wash my hair in 8.5 seconds and wipe stinky butts.
I am just a mother.
But I think I was meant to be an heiress. Probably still a mother, but also an heiress.
All day today I have been  sucked into pinterest and the thousand party and style blogs I frequent and all that did was reinforce that I would be really good at spending money for a living. I would throw mean dinner parties and clambakes and shop vintage and designer and then I'd travel. And shop. And go to the park with my kids. And shop. And I think I would still cook for the fam because I am just a little bit  "next food network star" but I would only shop at great local markets and order free-trade chocolates off of the internet.
So parents, today I am just a little pissed that you don't own a hotel chain because I would really like to extend my sabbatical into a permanent position. But I would settle for spending other people's money so if anyone wants to take me up on that I will let you pseudo-adopt me- unless you have real heiresses for children- I don't want to have to share closet space.