Wednesday, September 21, 2011

where was the damned traffic helicopter??

During today's morning commute, I wrote a rollicking fantastic blog post in my head and now.... nothing. Somewhere amidst road rage and microscopes, caffeination and tests I completely forgot was it was. It was no Pulitzer but still... I need a voice recorder or something.

Except then I'd just say "Do I really sound like that?" every single time I played my recordings back.
I figure the topic probably had something to do with driving in a parking lot or nearly getting smeared by the SAME semi-truck 3 times but we'll have to wait for it to come back to me, probably at 2 am next Tuesday.

It's okay though because the commute HOME gave me plenty of material. If you were not one of the 19.8 gazillion drivers on the road in StL today, you really missed out. The KMOV traffic app just said stay.the.hell.home.

No I made that up.
But that is what they meant.

As I was deadlocked, I found myself next to the loudest thug-life bass blasting car EVER. There is only one thing worse than being stuck next to 'that guy' and that is being stuck next to ba-ba-boom boooooom boom rattle rattle boom boooooom with screaming recently awoken children and an attitude that makes you go all mama bear out the window.

Luckily my kids weren't with me but I probably would've been that person.
It was bad enough because I just couldn't shake him. He or I would gain a few car lengths and then ba-ba-booooom. Damnit!!!

In a rare bass-free moment of clarity I thought about how I was in the makings of another post and that this one was not escaping so I started to write some stuff down. I was not moving very often so I took out a piece of paper and was leaning on the steering wheel writing when suddenly some asshole starts HONKING at me and I get all defensive. What the hell?! We aren't moving- I can't freaking go you dumb-ass and then I realize that I am the asshole. I was honking at myself.

Let me give you a second.

Yep. ME. I was apparently a little excited about recording my new blog post idea, writing furiously enough to lay on my horn. And then doing like any other sane person would do, I pretended it wasn't me.

Looking back I should have just went with it and really owned the honk- threw my arms up and shouted "Let's go already you frakking St. Lunatics (thanks Nelly)!" or at least honked to the bass beat next to me. Maybe next time.

So by now you are probably thinking I'm all cursing like a sailor over here to which I would respond. You are damned right! Commuting in that kind of ridiculous traffic makes me CRAZY. I release the inner trucker in me and it helps. When my kids aren't with me, all bets are off. And really it doesn't matter what I scream because it's just gonna get drowned out by the ba-ba-boom boom next door.

Post Script: As this was written yesterday, you may in fact be perfectly fine on the roadways today. Keep on truckin' commuters and stay out of my way lest you want to be honked at.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I couldn't afford THAT textbook

Lately I've been thinking alot about balancing work and play with these kiddos and I've come to the conclusion that even though this motherhood thing is SORTA what i thought it would be like, in many ways it is not. And I thought I'd share some general observations :)

Mommy things I didn’t learn in a book.
That kids are hard wired to the bathroom door. As soon as mom’s hand touches the doorknob, little bodies appear from nowhere to keep you company in times of pee.

That as soon as you clean up breakfast, lunch or dinner mess and sit down for a few minutes of snuggle time, your toddler will climb into your lap smelling of the foulest odor to ever grace your presence (since the last time) thus forcing mom back out of the couch to change a diaper.

That when you have a newborn baby and get your first shower in four days, your clean shirt and body will become a magnet for puke. I call this the ‘first law of baby puke attraction’.
Note: the second law involves lying on your back and laughing with your mouth wide open while holding baby up in the air like superman- I assume you get what happens next.

That when you are stressed beyond belief and just need a drink, you won’t be able to have one because wasting breast milk is like chucking diamonds down the drain.

That it will be okay if your kid watches a little tv. Somedays that is the only way you will be able to eat lunch.

That most days your four year old will ask 3,006 questions and over half of them will be “can I have a snack?” They all will begin with the word mom or some variation of it and he or she will expect you to answer them all.

That waiting for exploring baby fingers go to sleep is the first step in folding laundry unless you want to do it twice.

That someday you will be puked on, peed on and puked on all in the same day and none of it will be yours.

That you will never feel good enough.

That you will receive COUNTLESS amounts of advice from people who think they know your children better than you and/or have no children of their own and even though you won't listen to 98.9 percent of it, it will still contribute to the previous statement.

That the pleasure you get from watching the wonder involved with opening and closing a kitchen drawer will far outweigh the frustrations of putting away the contents that end of on the floor.

That there is no better blanket for your grief than a tiny child asleep on your chest.

That when you brush the hair out of your little girl’s eyes and are met with the perfect mimic of your husband’s expression you will fall a little more in love with both of them.

That no matter how many times you have to separate your feuding children, your feeling that they hate each other can melt in an instant when you see them huddled together in one recliner watching a movie and sharing crackers.

That motherhood is ridiculously hard. The hours are long and the boss is a real ball-breaker. There is no vacation or pay. But there are countless benefits and a company car and the freedom to date your most handsome co-worker. It is the toughest job you’ll ever love. And you are not alone.


Monday, September 12, 2011

Magic Moments Monday: Take me out to the ballgame (again) edition

We spent yesterday in a party suite in Busch Stadium cheering on the Cardinals! Basically that means I sat in a cusioned seat eating my weight in chicken fingers and brownies all day but it sounds more respectable if you throw in some hometown pride... Because we are awesome, or know people, this marks two weekends in a row in that party suite and two whole days of baseball without kids smearing cotton candy juice into your ear. In the words of Busch Stadium marketing extraordinaires, it was baseball heaven.
And oh yeah, we were "pre-game guests" this time ;)

Always Remember

Saturday, September 10, 2011

10 on 10 (at 10)

Last month, August 10th to be exact, I stumbled upon this blog:
Every 10th day of the month, she hosts the 10 on 10 link-up where you photograph on the hour for ten hours- it is just supposed to be shots of your normal day to paint a picture of a life. Today was a great laid back day with the kiddos. A blessed day.
Here is my first official ten on ten :)

1. Chocolate Chip Pancakes with Strawberry Compote and Whipped Cream for breakfast- I know...
2. Words to keep in mind
3.The elusive sibling affection. Be still my heart
4. Morning Naptime
5. N showing off the pasta salad he helped me make (and then he polished off two bowls)
6. Dancing widly to the theme song from "Rio" Note: Song still stuck in my head
7. Sunshine, dragonflies and trees with missing leaves. The summer/fall dichotomy
8. The last of my anniversary roses
9. N's bright and shiny new soccerball. He also got cleats and shin guards today. Mark it down as a day I thought would never happen in a  house with a baseball playing, soccer hater of a daddy
10. Just because I have an intense appreciation for weather that allows for long pants AND sandals!

Maybe next month, I will get a little more creative, but for a first go, I just wanted to get something posted. So there you go- my super laid back day with the kiddos ;) Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Friday, September 9, 2011

pass me the (insert poison)

but mommy i don't waaant to go to school.
i know you say that buddy, but you don't want to stay with a babysitter either. what do you want N?

i want to stay home and snuggle with my mommy.

there it is, the low blow. i neeeed you mommy. you are not meeting my needs mommy. what kind of mommy am i? unfortunately the first word coming to mind right now is overwhelmed.
i am an overwhelmed mommy.

once upon a time, i had a beautiful baby boy and night and day switched places. focus went from pregnant me to helpless little soul and i was overwhelmed.
and then i learned to live and slept again and things got easy.
then right when N was at that tricky impossible toddler stage, we threw a darling baby girl in the mix. who knew that two was impossibly harder? double the work and double the drama and half the time. i was overwhelmed.
and then miraculously life began to come back to us and we made a happy place.
the work from home scenario is a slippery one, but it is good. still a paycheck, but with lots of time at home. and i have supplemented with teaching a couple college classes a week, both for the money and the sanity that only comes from leaving the house.
but then there is now.

i agreed to a double teaching load this semester. there were lots of reasons behind the choice and it is probably only going to be temporary, but wow. i am essentially a full time faculty member, except that i split the load between two colleges/three campuses. this means that any given day i am driving all over boofoo and trying to remember what the hell (class) i am teaching. i am trying to shove patients in non-existent time slots in a house that is a potential disaster because i don't have enough time to keep it up. i grocery shopped at 10pm last night after the kids were asleep but i still have no idea what i am making for dinner tonight. and finally, i am not home snuggling with the kiddos. i know they are fine and i know this is temporary. i know that i had always planned on working full-time until that bald little head popped out and changed my world. however, when that head arrived, i was done with 27 years of school. and 27 years of school costs money.

i wish i could call my lenders and tell them i will be happy to work and pay them back in about 10 years when all my kids are in school, but i am fairly sure that when you call them, there is not a phone option for that choice. so i continue to work, some semesters more than others. i know i am not alone but it feels like i am alone. i am overwhelmed. overwhelmed. overwhelmed.

and just maybe, i would rather go through 5 simultaneous unmedicated childbirths just to get maternity leave. but then there would be seven and my house is not clean enough for reality tv...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

meanwhile lucifer is learning how to knit

what the? it is freaking september already although i'm fairly sure that mother nature didn't get the memo- seriously, it was 104 degrees today.
one hundred and four!
hotter than hell.
if satan takes an earthen vacation, he is gonna need a sweater when he goes home.

anyway, it is september and suddenly things are all crazy on me. i am working daily again outside the home- not full-time everyday, but still in some capacity. i was starting to think that i couldn't function in the working world again (that is a post for another day) but alas i think i am going to make it- i MIGHT even like it. but ask me again when i can actually go outside without bursting into flames. right now a paycheck is a darn good reason to stay indoors in the air conditioning!

today was one of those days full of unexpectedness. the random and ultimate crockpot dinner fail that i came home to was the last in a string of unusual happenings. i had two new anatomy classes start up today and i must have lost my game over the summer because (gasp) i am not sure they thought i was funny... i have worn big girl shoes for two days in a row- after a summer of flip flops, this is as significant as college peeps not finding me entertaining! AND i found out that my sweet husband arranged a night away for us to celebrate our anniversary- BIG news!!!!!
like i said, all unusual.

and then at 5:30 this evening, i picked up my little man from the learning center.
he didn't have any crazy allergy meltdowns or anything and the meanish, nice daycare lady SMILED at me and was kinda.... not meanish! i actually felt like she was genuinely happy to be speaking to me today...
so maybe hell is actually freezing over- and i think the air conditioner is too.
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