let's just say the US National Team has not come calling

I make grand plans.
Every once and awhile, they really come together but sometimes, not so much.

A friend of mine just mentioned on facebook that she was starting the Couch to 5K  training program and this blog post is what my response to her would have been if I could put obnoxiously long statements in the "comment" box.
I wanted to say "YEAH! Count me in" because secretly I have always wanted to be that cute little jogger bopping effortlessly down the road with my ponytail and my Ipod and the running short clad tight a$$.... but that is just. not. me.

I was a gymnast- well first I was a dancer and then a gymnast and then I returned to dancing but that is not important. Gymnasts are programmed for speed and quick bursts of energy, not for long-term running so you see, my muscles are all "fast-twitch" (there is your physiology lesson for the day- you are welcome) and therefore I am destined to not run.
:) I think the argument is scientifically sound, even if I have not been that little tumbler for quite some time.

So anyway- I could have agreed to take part in the program because support is good, right? Maybe if I committed to running with other people, my perfectionist tendencies would kick in and I would vow to not be outdone..... but all I could think of was what happened "last time".
I am a good wife. At least I think so and hopefully my husband agrees, and I don't care much if anyone else thinks so. Aaron has mentioned multiple times how it would be so "fun" if he and I could go running together. Cast all the potential logistical problems with babysitters and schedules aside as well as the fact that we could bike together too but haven't since before N was born. Isn't it sweet? We could be that envied Ipod clad, tight-a$$ed running COUPLE if only the old broken wife would get off her tail!

So I decided to start running and I didn't tell him. I was going to surprise him and sign us up for a 5k together because he (the bastard) IS a runner. Let the enormity of this ruse sink in for a minute..... ME running.... plus, this scenario is nearly impossible to pull off. I am home with the kids two full days a week and on the other three days, I work- sometimes in the house and sometimes out. How do you incorporate a running regime into that madness without telling your partner??
Well, the answer is, you don't. I ran for the first two weeks of the program.

My name is Jo and I am a quitter.
Sigh.
It was an uphill battle- one day I actually ran INSIDE the house because it was literally pouring rain for an entire week. This would be fine if we had a treadmill, but we don't! I was sore for three days because ankles don't like to run in tight circles for 20 minutes. Any neighbors seeing me zip past the window 78 times in a few minutes would have to wonder what the hell I was running from.... surely if I were escaping from robbers or ghosties I would leave the house, right? I was laughing at the hilarity of it but determined to succeed.
The next running day was outside. We live among some hills. And when I say hills, I mean it- our area is not flat AT ALL. So I did like any veteran runner would do and ran willy nilly through the town avoiding the large inclines. Unfortunately, I kept coming up on this freaking street cleaner...... He just kept finding my street and blowing huge quantities of debris and dust up in the precious air (that I may or may not have been gasping for) and I was getting seriously mad!! Finally as he turned down my street for the 6,000th time I just gave up. I turned around and walked home. And that was the end.

I blame the weather and the unnaturally clean city streets, but I am still not a runner. The 5k came and went without us and I never told my husband (we'll see if he reads my blog). So I guess he'll just have to be satisfied with the broken down me- I don't have an Ipod anyway!