i'm gonna need you to repeat that, just to make sure i got all the wrongness correct in my head...

we are confined to the house, or at least an air-conditioned replacement locale. and as the children are, well, children, they need a constant source of entertainment to avoid behavior that makes me want to poke my eyes out.

i have been wanting to try out storytelling hour at the library for quite awhile. BUT it is on fridays and i almost always work on fridays so we haven't been yet, until today.
i live in a very small town, part hoosierville, part 'burb so though there is access to slews of artistic peoples, i wasn't sure if said peoples would make the drive to our little slice of errr... heaven. basically i didn't know what to expect so i just took N.
we rolled in and there were just a few other parents there and apparently there IS a major storyteller there every week, complete with an activity and abounding fun!! que my excitement!

except that applies to all other days but today.
wa wa wa waaaaaaahhh... :/

i picked the day where a very quiet librarian sat on the floor and just plain read. a very socially awkward librarian at that.
with no activity.
N just sorta looked at me like i was drunk at 10am and climbed on my lap to listen.

and wouldn't you know, we knew the people sitting next to us (small town, remember)... a very sad little toddler who wanted to be anywhere but there and his very well meaning grandmother. the little dude whimpered and cried through two books as i nodded in internal agreement with his misery and then grandma decided to take him out.

all the other mothers smiled in sympathy as she drug him out of the door, because seriously, TWO. who hasn't been there. and then suddenly, miss socially awkward librarian had to divulge that she had in fact never been there. and she said it.

"my children never did that"

[crickets]

really lady? never? your children never cried because they didn't want to do something when they were two years old? give me a freaking break! and if by some crazy remote chance, they really never did, it was certainly because they had your sparkling personality and had nothing exciting to share...

[crickets] sorry.

i feel kinship with mothers of all types, except for the self-righteous ones who get me a little worked up. unfortunately she didn't even realize that what she said was ridiculous and demeaning.
so she continued.

"i'm just lucky i guess"

yes, you are that lady. lucky that i don't send my little ninja up to roundhouse kick that boring book out of your hand and spice up this storytelling hour! good thing i have such good manners and that N and i have worked out when it is acceptable to kung-fu panda someone, which as he knows is only if "vampires or other bad people" are around. but take note dear librarian, next time we may counter your social awkwardness with some of our own.