everything i need to know i learned in kindergarten, or in the process of sending my dude to kindergarten

i find myself on the other side of the great kindergarten switch up. i am alive. the tears were not nearly as long or ugly as i feared, but now the worry has set in.

did we do the right thing?

i have a really hard time with just making a decision and going with it. on my deathbed, i will probably wonder if my undoing was because of some random choice i made when i was 22. here's to hoping my deathbed is a long time away or i will overthink it even more.

anyway... did you know that being a parent involves a decision or three thousand? and some of those decisions are hard.

N's bday placed him in this kinder class by ten days. we wavered. we discussed. we were sure that yes, he should go. we were sure that no he was not ready. we asked. we stewed and ultimately we sent the kid to school- obviously.

but.
here i sit 1.5 weeks later and i am still just not sure he is supposed to be there. he's got the brains, but his maturity is still stuck in 4 year old world. he really doesn't pay attention very well. really.
really.
his teacher commented that he has "focusing issues", which sent my hackles up a little because, hello? he just started a brand new routine. he is barely five.
she also said he was a smarty and that he would probably be just fine, but i latched right on the the negative and it sits in my brain, right next to the grocery list. and right next to the thought that some teacher, some day is probably going to tell me he needs adhd meds- he is a little...  passionate. hot tempered. hyper. but he IS five...

so what's a girl to do when all you can do is wait and pray and hope?
well- she can go all crazy trying to fix things and add reading and researching.
she can discover that maybe, just maybe his behavior matches up extraordinarily well with food sensitivities, even better than i previously thought. she can decide that we are going to be a Feingold Family for awhile and just see what happens.

but most importantly, she can give a silent high five to her husband when N reports that some of his classmates got sent to the Principal's office for misbehaving and he was good all week. she should also hope that karma doesn't turn around and bite her in her additive-free ass.

we're new around here remember

of course my child would be the one to somehow end up naked in the bathroom climbing onto the dirty school toilet, with shed diaper pooled around her sparkly tennis shoes and the 8th grade "babysitter" looking helplessly on. what would back to school night be without these fine memories?

we all "new" this day would come

it has arrived. my first born baby is a kindergartener...
give me a moment :(

he was SO very excited this morning, his teacher seems great and the kids were uber cute in their little uniforms. and just like that, i am fine. it was quick like band-aid removal. no tears- no mess. bam.

i have already moved on to my next source of anxiety- the first behavior report. i know he can be "difficult" so prayers, wishes and fingers quadruple crossed for that one.

so what were the official answers to the off to kindergarten official interview questions?

What do you want to be when you grow up? Maybe work with daddy at the high school
Where do you want to live?  Here with mommy
What kind of car will you drive? A mini car
Are you going to get married? Yes
Will you have babies? Yes- a boy and a girl (named Chris and Aila), incidentally, they will also live here
What's your favorite color? Light blue and Dark red
What's your favorite food? Chinese noodles and hot dogs (damn those things)
What's your favorite thing to do? Go outside
What's your favorite TV show or movie? Mario Brothers

Enjoy the hike my most favoritest little boy!

also enjoy the TYPO in the going to school title! apparently i need a tad more education ;)baaaaahahahahahahaha

think inside the bun

i'm a bit of a lunatic when it comes to feeding my kids. i tend toward the healthy- sometimes to a fault. of course we eat crap every now and then, but in general i cook from scratch and avoid anything processed. we don't really do fast food and even snacks are usually good for them. the kids are fairly brave about trying new things and eating what i give them (though you'd think every day was a struggle based on the dinner time drama as of late- but i digress).

so it makes PERFECT sense that when the pediatrician asks what types of foods N 'usually' eats, he would reply "hot dogs and corn dogs." and when she asks what he likes to do, he would answer "go to mcdonald's"... well played N.




post script:
the little liar also said that he doesn't usually brush his teeth and now sleeps on the floor because he doesn't have a bed (i DID actually break his bed frame last week but he is at least sleeping on a mattress on the floor)

growing, growing, gone

if I being honest, N has spent most of the last two years on my last nerve, which is a testament to just how long a nerve can stretch... i adore him with my entire being but he is my child, and by default, he got a little bit of my crazy.

he trots off to the world of a school kid next week and i truly do not know how to walk him up those steps and deposit him into academia without me around to hold his hand and shake my head at his antics.
how will i be able to leave a little piece of heart in a classroom and acknowledge that the last five years are in fact, behind me? he is so small, but he was so much smaller.

in many ways i feel like i wasted so much of our time together. i specifically worked part-time to spend more hours at home with him and his sister. i had such high hopes for projects and day trips and teaching by example.

for months and years, we had time, time, time.
time to read stories the next day because too much work had to be done.
time to accept instead of correct.
time to mess up our parenting a zillion times without them remembering.
time to almost fantasize about when he was "older" or more "self-sufficient" or more "independent"...

damn it.
that time is now. and i can't help but feel i didn't have enough time.
i didn't lead a good enough example.
i didn't just enjoy it for what it was.

there is no amount of perfection that would be more than what he deserves and though i have certainly tried very hard to be a good mom, i can only hope that it was enough. i pray that he will be a well-adjusted little person that is respectful and kind, that can take criticism and direction. i pray that he uses that crazy strong will for leadership. most of all, i pray that he knows just how much i love every sweet, crabby, spirited and handsome fiber of his little self and that he feels that my thoughts are with him through the day.

i think there was at least time enough to teach him that.

the old man needs to do some snoring

rain.

more please?

Ten On Ten: 8.10.12

if you check that calendar, it says august 11th.
but strangely enough, it is chilly out this morning and the windows are open for the first time in two months.
max is stalking them, standing on furniture, his beagle nose all asniff.
it is glorious.
and that means that yesterday was ten on ten, and you know what? i did it.
turns out that when you are not teaching 8 zillion classes and seeing patients, then you have time for stuff. i hate how work gets in the way of being lazy and taking pictures and napping.
ah well.

A sunny day full of kiddos and food. I'll have another please.
Linking up with a bit of sunshine for ten on ten

so i gained a few "travel" pounds

well.
it IS that time of year again- no sense denying it, much as i want to.
it's detox time.
and you thought i was going to say something about back to school :)
well that too, sorta. for Aaron at least.
i've got a few more weeks until fall semester (i am still in the midst of summer session actually) and almost that long  until i curl into the fetal position and sob into my knees about sending N off to kindergarten.

but detox time is NOW people. and it sucks just like the last time we said we'd never do it again.
so if detox time and relatively fleeting misery is now, blissful family travel time was last week.

and i think i'll just attempt to revel in that for awhile. maybe it will distract me from my raging caffeine withdrawal headache or the hunger pangs. it was a glorious week full of sand and seafood, airplanes and gators. let's start from the beginning, shall we??
(ridiculous photo overload disclaimer now)

we drove overnight to pensacola beach, fl in an effort to avoid as much backseat kiddo drama as possible- it was generally successful except for being left with zombie parents who would spontaneously pass out in the hotel room beginning at 3 pm. there were several seconds or possibly a full 20 minutes where i'm sure our children were without proper parental supervision but try not to judge too harshly lest you be faced with well rested, vacation-food stuffed minions hyped up on how exciting hotel rooms are on zero hours of sleep. it happens ya'll. i am saying ya'll now as you will soon understand. before our said hotel check-in, we had driven STRAIGHT to the beach, because, obviously. it was overcast and sprinkly and completely fabulous all the same because no one was there.


after a few hours of hotel narcolepsy, we decided we had to get out again because there was no way we would remain awake until bedtime if the lovely pillow-topped beds kept sucking us in. plus, you gotta cram as much vacation in as possible, according to me at least. Aaron is more the resting on vacation-type but i usually win. we got cleaned up and headed to pensacola beach. and on the way, this happened...

I know.

 it is a perfect beach party destination with scores of restaurants, beach bars and shops. we found the perfect place for us at Flounders Chowder House. on the beach. beach music. sand volleyball. frosty drinks. playground... perfect. and delicious.

Oh so you're saying you'd rather be snuggling in the hotel bed right now? Interesting.

Interestingly enough, Flounders was also the site of the largest toddler tantrum fiesta to date. Wow.
The next day found us all happy and well rested and up for a day of sunshine, which had decided to come back. We drove through Firehouse Subs to get some sandwiches. Actually we drove through twice because Aaron "forgot" to order the first time... hmmm maybe not so well-rested. We took our picnic back to the same beach at Perdido Key State Park and were delighted to see that there were only a few more people than the day before. Score.

on the way back, we grabbed ice cream and found an amazing playground. and we sweated. and felt sad for a little girl who informed N that 1) her mom was in jail and 2) her daddy cried because her mom said she didn't love him anymore and then she asked me to take her picture. so i did but you can't see it. the things you learn on playgrounds...

we stopped off at the Mellow Mushroom for pizza on the way home. also a great place. it was trivia night and we dominated until little people had had enough fun for one day and we had to hightail it out of there. plus, my skin felt a little fried and i was wearing only my swimsuit cover-up.

the next day promised rain. we heading to the naval air station/naval aviation museum where Aaron was in absolute heaven. he loves planes. he even used to fly and hopefully he will again soon.

on our way out of town, we paused at the Crab Trap for one more beach dining experience and more seafood gluttony. so good. it was raining so we ate inside, but took one last walk to the sand before hitting the road for baton rouge, la where my husband's family lives.

 before i start in one leg 2 of vacay, i'd like to mention that i am still hungry with a mild headache. for those of you still with us, here we go...

on friday, we were starting to feel a little tired, so we rested up for the morning and then headed out to see some baton rouge sites in the afternoon. the uss kidd is a battleship that was hit by a kamikaze pilot in ww2, and was repaired before it headed back out for the invasion of japan. it is well preserved and very interesting. it also fit in with our overall vacation theme of warfare in all types. we sweated more in case you're wondering.

that evening brought a boy's plane ride with aaron's uncle. A was in general distress the entire time watching "brudder" and daddy take off and leave us and she ran to them as soon as they got out. it was pretty cute.



the next day began with a kid-free brunch date at my favorite restaurant in the world, Cafe Des Amis. they have a zydeco breakfast every saturday and it is fantastic. zydeco band. mimosas and bloody marys. dancing. eggs benaud, stuffed beignets, and cafe au lait. it has everything. we were there 4 years ago and some of the SAME people were there dancing. you must go.

this handsome gent was there four years ago dancing with all the ladies. keeps him young!

and as if the day wasn't great enough, we took the kids to Kleibert's Alligator and Turtle Farm for the afternoon. they were on the history channel's swamp people special before there was a Swamp People show. gators, gators everywhere. big one's and small one's, all who are scary ones.

and then there was gumbo.

also lots of family time and frozen yogurt. and pocoyo on portable dvd.

i'd like to do it all again tomorrow.

ps- still hungry ya'll