hello karma, you bitch

and it has happened. the first bad behavior report :(
after a couple weeks of green apple good behavior, yesterday was apparently, "not a good day"

i am so disappointed.
and maybe slightly wondering if karma has come around after my gloating.

we have been doing fiengold, which translates to spending 16,000 to switch out all of our products that we thought were "clean" to even cleaner approved products. and i guess since we missed some of the prohibited stuff for the last two weeks, then we really weren't even doing fiengold at all... i guess it is promising that he had such a good response with what we have done, but overall, the backtracking behavior is so so frustrating! apparently that is to be expected in this first stage, as they essentially "detox" from what is built up in their systems. while i have never fed them much artificial anything, he has LIVED on salicylate containing fruits and vegetables all summer so there is certainly that to contend with, but wow.

when you tell your teacher you "don't have to listen" to her and cover your ears when she is talking to you and then "sssshhhh" another teacher while you are in trouble and sitting in the hallway....
at least  he didn't punch anyone...

ahhhhh- i don't know if i can do it all. there is just so much to consider from the soaps in the school bathroom (or any public place really), to paint in the craft room and of course the shared treats and classroom parties. when i received the full 320 page shopping list, the enormity of it all hit me. part of me is desperate for this to work- it would explain so very much and solve even more and let him thrive. but honestly, the other part of me hopes it doesn't work so then the full program doesn't have to be our new and forever normal. one thing i am sure of though is anger. anger at the food industry that has allowed all this... shit... to be in our food. many times it is not even labeled and make no mistake, it IS shit. coal tar derivatives and petroleum and waste products of manufacturing just dumped into our food or used to refine all the oils used for cooking them. it is out of control. it makes me sick that you should have to spend money to get "the list" to find clean food for your family.

the night before yesterday's crazy day, he drew all over himself with markers. what kid has not done that? and it should be no big deal, except it was. as he was getting dressed last night, the remnants of all that artificial dye remained zigzagged across his fair little belly and it all came together. that simple act was like an iv of crazy for him. not all children, but for him. not food. just common childhood "things". it is truly a bummer. i HATE to be that crazy mom but i guess i have to be that crazy mom.

he is worth it. and no one is going to "ssshhhh" me about it.