Friday, April 13, 2012

things i learned in a restroom stall: part 3

privates, butt, penis, balls... wiener even.
he WON'T stop talking about them. my son, not my husband, though i am sure he is equally as proud of his manhood. completely sure in fact. in his college glory days especially. hence all the awesome anatomically incorrect terminology that N has learned

but my son. my teeny tiny little man. he is FOUR.
he is obsessed and i am freaked the hell out.
i am waiting for a random call from his school (desperately hoping it will be them and not protective services or something) because what kind of kid references his privates 700 times a day?!?!
"look at me mom- i'm touching my privates."
"mom- am i not supposed to talk about penises?"
"sorry i bumped my balls into you!"
STOP THE MADNESS.
for real kid.
stop. it.
stop it or i won't delete this post when you're older and there will be an arsenal full of embarrassing info for your 16 year-old girlfriend.
stop it or i'll make you start staying home from preschool so you can't freak out your teachers.
stop it or i'll be forced to squirt you with a water bottle every time you mention your member (let's pretend i wouldn't enjoy that last one).

i think it is a stage. i am fairly certain that other mothers have stressed about their child saying stuff like this and it being misconstrued. and i am sure that i have made it worse by trying to stifle his comments.

but most of all, i know he has learned that he can push my buttons... i just wish he would wash his hands first.

Things I Learned in a Restroom Stall: Part 1
Things I Learned in a Restroom Stall: Part 2

2 comments:

Missy at Its Almost Naptime said...

Yeah, it's a stage. A stage that he'll grow out of in...well. Maybe when he's 90 years old and in a coma.

If it makes you feel any better, I predict soon his wiener fascination will be eclipsed by a fart fascination.

I know, I have the gift of encouragement. You're welcome.

Jo said...

just the fact that you called it a "weiner" made my entire day :) thanks