Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Unexpected Pains

the following is a response to The Red Dress Club: RemebeRed Prompt
"the first time I ___________ after ___________"



anticipation. worry.
i walk down the familiar hall- my favorite sage green walls are usually such a soothing color. seriously, when did this normally six step runway become so very long. the knot in my stomach is solid and heavy and the cramps have kicked in.

i gingerly lower myself down and wince from fear. sitting should be like breathing- effortless. and yet.... there is a very large effort here.

there is no glamour.
this is the first poop after a vaginal childbirth.

(i'll give you a second to collect yourself)

to contract half of your pelvic floor is simply impossible. stupid body- why doesn't it realize that most of my girly parts are plain. worn. out. and stretched and ashen and well.... gross.
stretching. stinging.
smiling?
smiling, because i did it! seriously, am i excited about pooping?

nobody prepares you for the weird "after" stuff. you are ready to kiss and love and nurture. to not sleep and not bathe. nobody told me that i would feel raw and swollen. that at night when i stumbled blindly to the bathroom after sleeping deeply for an entire 20 straight minutes, i would start myself awake with the pain of sitting on a toilet too quickly. and to actively push through that madness--- i put it off for a long as possible.

of course now in retrospect, it all seems quite obvious- if you push a watermelon through a cherry-sized space, the area is going to be a little angry. i teach anatomy even- it doesn't matter. i was not prepared- but i was successful :)

i thought a long time about what to write for this prompt and i couldn't help but come back to this in all its tmi glory. maybe it's all the recent births around me, but if you've been there, done that- you understand.

8 comments:

Jennie said...

Oh my gosh, I had to comment because I swear I was going to do my remembeRED post about the SAME thing (first poop after having a baby) and then decided not to! Way to go...I'm glad you did! :) LOL it's probably one of the most unpleasant things after having a baby (amidst the million other things).

my3littlebirds said...

Ah yes, I understand. Thank God for Colace!

amybethinverness.com said...

Ahhhh... Colace...

OK, I won't TMI. You all understand exactly what I'm talking about lol!

Jo said...

too funny all of you!
this is one of the things i ADORE about the blog world- that i definitely don't feel alone in my adventures as a woman/parent

RaRa said...

Wow, your post and my post together are quite a pair. #1 AND #2! I've read several of this week's entries and so many of them are linked to pregnancy/childbirth. Guess that says something!

Galit Breen said...

Oh yes, this.

Ouch. Just plain 'ol ouch!

Love the tension in the beginning. It so feels like a plot twist doesn't it?! :)

EllieF said...

I almost couldn't think of anything else to write, because this exact topic was the loudest one in my head from the moment the prompt appeared. (Kudos on being brave enough to write about it...I wasn't!) It's fun to see the comments too...what a strange thing to be such a monumental moment for so many women, but it definitely is!

Not Just Another Jennifer said...

Yes, I had so much fear of pain when trying to poop after my C-section. And I'd heard they wouldn't let me leave the hospital without doing it, but I was so scared!! All moms can relate. Great post!