it's like there is this little voice telling me that i am a failure if i don't get my darn Christmas pictures posted to the facebook. as if my friends cannot live without a glimpse into the plague infested stupor that was my holiday. but the voice wins- naptime doesn't last forever. i will have to blog the Christmas adventures another day. but don't judge. we are watching you...

my little performer

This hat was once my pants- as in my actual pajama pants when i was a wee little A sized girl. I just think that's fantastic... and the perfect piano concert attire.

eat 3 pounds of this and call me in the morning

today is a real day off!! well, not totally because i do have a patient later but it's a friend and i might not even change out of my yoga pants. we are that classy around here. two more days of finals but this is a GRAND hiatus with all my grades done and submitted thus far.

and i am more or less over my weight gain freak out, which is evidenced by the glorious caramel corn that is rolling out of my kitchen this afternoon. but it doesn't matter even if i still wanted to be skinny because popcorn is healthy :) ignore the TWO STICKS of butter in each batch. it is spread over an entire batch anyway and it's not like i have ever sat and ate an entire batch in one day.
only 3/4 of a batch...
i realize that is about as solid of an argument as making cookies with whole wheat flour and pretending they aren't still cookies. i own that approach though so my brain acknowledges it as truth.

i am planning on posting the recipe although it is kinda a family trade secret so i feel strangely strange about it like i am the dog in the busch's baked beans commercial. i'll have to keep the run cake recipe a secret though- anything that is a dessert and a drink all in one could take down countries or something and we all know that i am already an enemy of the state mansion and its clock occupants.

this is a rambler, isn't it? anyway- i am just happy to have a little breathing room today and the thought that i can Christmas my tail off in two more days makes me almost giddy... or it could be the caramel corn sugar. either or, i'll take it.

i need to keep those appendages

in the true spirit of continued self-deprecation, i feel inclined to mention that today's sweater makes me look about 40 pounds heavier than i actually am. however, it is also the only thing in my closet that makes me feel warm enough to avoid losing fingers and toes.

so thank you sweater for your warmth... and added poundage.

Sweater: Kohls; Belt/Striped Top: Target

i also don't match- but whatever. it is the third to last day of work for awhile so i am not caring very much. at least not enough to prevent putting a picture of me online in non-matching, non-flattering work attire. it's your fault- i just figured i had to give you a visual.

regardless, thank you sweater for your warmth.

hmmm... unexpected or maybe a little bit expected

i awoke today with the grandest of sweet plans. no work until the PM and two weeks out (seriously people two weeks) from the Christmas calls for some cookie engineering.

and then i stepped on the damn scale!!! it has been AWHILE. and i could blame it on those silly little fluctuating female hormones or on my children who probably broke the scale... i did start out at the 100 mark instead of 0 because it would have taken too long to scroll all the way around to fix it. but let's take a moment to acknowledge that i did just yesterday admit to knocking over a giant clock.
with my ass. i had left that part out.

hmmmm. so baking jumped right off the day's agenda and we can pretend like it won't mysteriously appear somewhere else on this week's schedule. the oven is going to get used though, i made a lentil loaf... because it will taste like caramel corn. or maybe because it is meatless monday and i have a rear stuffed with random pounds that showed up on the scale.

sooooo, the moral of the story is do not weigh yourself before you bake.

incidentally you should also not weigh yourself after you bake... unless it's a lentil loaf

the post that concerns the entire bi-state area

i have crazy blog envy. or maybe blogger envy. idk. all i know is that i can't get myself to do it (the bloggy blogging) man!
i am reading amazing, happy, super-excited-that-it-is-the-Christmas season blogs. and though i AM actually super-excited-that-it-is-the-Christmas season, i just can't seem to sit down and form any happy little blog posts.
i just need to get through the next week.
i think.
i KEEP saying that. please baby Jesus let it be the case.

it is not that i have no material, honestly i do- you're looking at THE girl who knocked over an enormous grandfather clock in the middle of a freaking holiday concert at the governor's mansion... and yes i heard about it from everyone in the bi-state area... and yes as soon as i did it i thought what a fantastical blog post i just paved the way for. but so far i haven't written a thing about it.
maybe next week.

this week i am buried in grading and prepping and rescheduling patients around madness. my kids are all amped up on holiday cheer and hot chocolate and i can hardly keep up. we have been BAD, very bad about going to church lately and when i pictured my church-going self chucking a very squirmy and squealy toddler off the balcony in the middle of mass today i remembered why... at least i would have been close to the confessional.

i'm not sure why i felt compelled to share that piece of insanity (maybe you can all pray for me or send me positive vibes or do whatever it is that will help me) but that is the current state of my mind. and i better get it together soon because the governor's secret service guys have got their eyes on me!!

hmmph...

i had the most bizarre feeling all day today.
i just felt... wrong.
disconnected.
i didn't feel any real sense of purpose other than feeding my children. though they still have full bellies, they are also still in their pajamas and it seems pointless to change now with bedtime on the horizon.

i kept frowning, wondering... what was wrong with me and suddenly i had a smashing revelation.

I WAS BORED!

i have not felt bored since i was 17 years old.
although that is surely an exaggeration, it has been quite some time.
one more week till finals and Christmas break and i may FINALLY be figuring out how to balance all the madness.
except none of our 18 loads of laundry are folded- but they are clean so that is balance enough... at least for a woman in the same sweatpants as yesterday.

what a difference two years makes!

AND NOW I WANT A TACO!!! memories...

pass the cuppa

it is really early. i hate early.
although i must say that the quiet is nice! as are the Christmas trees and decorations- that is the best part about having done that home tour- the house is now lovely for the season and it is just barely December.
after today, there is ONE more week of classes before finals and it can not come soon enough. this semester has been terribly hard. i made a mistake in taking on that many hours- my teaching has suffered, my organization skills tanked and my children have grown four months worth without my being able to enjoy it because i was so caught up in getting through this madness.
oh well. live and learn.
nex semester will be different- i am going back to my old "happy" schedule and though the pay will be less, so will the commute, the stress and the wishing. back to two whole days of snuggles and giggles per week and back to knowing what class i am lecturing in. i am excited.
and back to blogging. i have been so absent with nothing to talk about except for home tours and biology. that is not a blog i'd like to read (or write actually).