in which i hold paper that costs 400 smacks

today i was reminded why nobody in our family is allowed to get sick... i mean for more than the obvious reasons like being terrifying and generally bad news.
that shit is expensive.

remember my blog post about my little man and his food allergy situation??
well, update.
the allergist does not think the food allergies are a potential asthma trigger PLUS it turns out that when i actually received (on my person) the blood test results, they didn't look nearly as bad as overly dramatic Nurse Ratchet led overly dramatic medical personnel momma to believe over the phone.

and. it is bad, yes, that the poor fella is allergic to our very lovable and ridiculously smelly and hairy pooch. but the rest of the list, the slew of foodstuffs found in all foodstuffs was so minimal that they might even be considered false positives... nice huh? overreaction much?
except for milk, which we already knew- that is still a minor, very minor player. so yes EXCITING and thankful rejoicing all around because he can still eat a cupcake at a birthday party but frowny face over having to tell your four year old he can't have basically anything anymore and then say "just kidding" one week later...
only a slight digression because it illustrates a point. the point being that we had a very strong inkling that the kid was allergic to the dog and milk. and that is exactly what the $413 lab bill told me too. i know that's not the point, i work in the health field- i get it. diagnostic tests rule things out, but i can't help but be a tad cranky that we have to pay that much money to find out what we already knew, just printed on four $100 sheets of paper.
the kicker is this- the test ACTUALLY cost $1700+ and $1300 was written off because of our insurance agreement. mind blowing- thousands of dollars to pull out a few vials of blood and test them up. but it is not the providers fault. they have to charge that much for a tiny little procedure because insurance forces them to write so much off as part of the agreement and they do still need to make money and pay their help. what a broken system.
B.
ro.
KEN.

{sigh} i will never forget all the $$ that my family got socked with when my mom kept growing brain tumors and everyone wondering why since she had insurance. i still break out in a cold sweat with every "eob" we ever receive from the smallest of check up appointments- just in anticipation.
{longer sigh} this is the system i must toil away in. and while i work in it and try to pay back the gazillion loans that landed me here, i sure as hell can't afford to be a regular patient in it.  rant over.

and fist pump for four year olds that can eat the same stuff as everyone else.
and double fist pump for mommies that won't let them crappy stuff just because they can.
and google fist pumps that we haven't had a major health issue to really get all ranty (not "randy" like blogger wants me to change this word to) about.
i don't know if people are actually still fist pumping but maybe it will intimidate the insurance gods if we all do it together. stay healthy friends.

who knew such an easy remedy was right in the fridge?

i am the anti-waster~
at least in terms of food. we won't talk about the poor, wasted,  forlorn shoes left in my closet after an impulse purchase or the shear amount of time tossed away on pinterest "nothing".
food.
i hate wasting food so i try really hard to use up leftovers and put all parts of things to good use.

but imagine my surprise to find that at less than 2 years of age, A is following in my footsteps.
yesterday i roasted a chicken and used the bones for stock. whenever i do this, i leave the container in the fridge overnight so that the fat rises to the top, solidifies and I can get rid of it. I haven't found a "good' use for plain yellow chicken fat yet...
or should I say hadn't, because my darling little lady who has been a non-sleeping crab of a child lately decided SHE was the anti-waster.
and when my back was turned, she retrieved the nasty, gooey, mess from the trash can, put it in her plastic teacup and sat down to eat it with a spoon...

yeah, i know.
i would have snapped a photo but i was too busy trying not to vomit.

but hey, today is her first real nap in days so as long as she's not poisoned, maybe she's onto something...

remember the days where you would just spend hours staring at each other

It happens. If you are a parent I think you can probably relate.

Though you can be completely smitten with your spouse after any number of years, sometimes you just have no time for each other.

A and I have not had a real conversation in days- a few words here and there about schedules, kids and a few "I love you" texts have had to suffice.

Life.

But it bears mention that I am indeed giddy about my husband most of the time and one of these days may bring a date night or week, at least here's hoping. And here's proof that we as a couple exist as more than parents in this house :)

These pictures are YEARS old but I just received them from a friend- the friend whose wedding we were attending and I thought they were fun. Happy weekend friends. I hope you get to enjoy your other half!

would you buy this book? i didn't think so ;)

Today on Write On Edge we are asked to give a Title and Tagline for the story of our life (thus far). And since this blog pretty much covers the ins and outs of that story, I thought I'd keep my theme. Here you are- the story of me (us):

A Beautiful Messy Life
                   ~~~the perfection is in the mess...

What a beautiful mess it is!

if you're drowning, i'll toss you a pinterest

i have seen post after post about pinterest lately! on blogs and facebook and surely the twitter if i was a subscriber. i have mentioned in many times myself. that it is amazing! the devil's site! a time suck! chock full of inspiration!
i must add one more- lifesaver!
my son has asthma but it is only induced by illness and allergies. we are very lucky but we just got the "formal" diagnosis so it is still weighing heavily on my mind. it could be so very much worse. he is a healthy kid and we can handle a little wheezing, but it is essential that we know what exactly could trigger an attack. i wanted to know what he was allergic to, but i wasn't quite ready for the answer... milk (dairy), wheat (gluten), corn, soy, peanuts and so on. he is basically allergic to food. and, of course, the family dog. i am sure if they tested for it, little IgGs for me would have popped up in the blood test too.
damn.
just when you think you have done everything "right" nature swoops in to tell you that sometimes you are not in charge of the universe and your children's genes. i knew this of course, but could have done without the reminding.
double damn.
but it's cool because i've got this [food allergy thing]. i LOVE this boy. i love to cook and i love a challenge.
and i love pinterest who loves blogs about food allergies. this has been tackled by plenty before us. so i've got inspiration boards and i must say that so far, the recipes have not disappointed and the substitutions are pretty easy. so thank you pinterest for being a lifesaver! and thank you thank you that allergies and asthma are all that we're dealing with.

{like a traffic jam when you're already late}

i thought it was ironic that i got pulled over for those license plates when i almost took the other car. i thought it was ironic that i told my students on the first day that we were lucky to have a mild winter and then had the next class smothered by snowfall. but this one is the kicker.
yesterday was the coldest day of the year.
yesterday the heater died.

:(

it is SO UNBELIEVABLY COLD in this house. but don't worry about us! in the words of my four year old "It's not like we're going to turn into ice cubes or anything mom, geez"

now i need to turn off all my very random and irrational anxiety thoughts before they too come to fruition and start concentrating on how i will wake up tomorrow and be miraculously thin with self-washing hair, a permanent baby fresh smell and no blemishes... and be warm

Ten on Ten (January Already!)

Yay! I remembered to ten on ten today :)
One photo an hour for ten hours. Linking up with a bit of sunshine today.
Happy January Friends

9:00 Brushing her teeth

10:00 Pick me up

11:00 Running errands without a shower = need a hat!

12:00-3:00 Life Intervenes...

3:00 Art Gallery Viewing :)

4:00 Cause it looked so empty when I took Christmas stuff down

5:00 Shadows

6:00 A snack while cooking dinner

7:00 Texture

8:00 Self-Serve Snack :/

10:00 PM Little Boy Shoes and Big Boy Slippers- and a dirty floor!

on occasion, overthinking is still not enough

leaving the house to grab lunch from panera should be such a quick thing.i walked out the back door and hesitated.
our license plates expired on the 31st and this week didn't see me any closer to getting them renewed than did the first week in december (or even november).
newsflash- i procrastinate.

so i went back in and grabbed aaron's keys. and then i remembered that i was also going to grab some storage crates and they would fit much better in my car. so i switched the keys AGAIN and left in the originally intended, license plate expired vehicle. actually i went back in one more time for my elin nordegren sunglasses because it was blinding outside. blinding. and 60 degrees in january.
so i am driving and sticking to the back roads because i am paranoid like that. what are the odds of getting pulled over on my quick trip to panera, right?
not good enough!!
at the one leg of my "journey" that hits interstate territory i happened across a parked officer. lucky for me, he has the distinction of owning the most intensely focused set of eyes on the force because he was able to pick my 1"x1" expired little square out of 40 cars flying by at 60 mph. never mind that is what he was probably there for- to pick on all the dummies who bought their vehicles in december with no time to put off a renewal before the sticker changes color for the year- how did he see that?!?!
so am i all pissed pissed pissed and cursing the traffic gods and my procrastination skills with a stomach rumbling for some delicious bread company and an 11 year old officer walks to the window.
i sigh and hand him my information plus all the renewal stuff that i have IN MY CAR already because i had been planning on getting it done. i couldn't exactly say i was on my way since it is saturday either. but i explain that i JUST got back in town from the holidays (or 10 days ago) and i am taking care of it immediately.
he goes to his car and i wait.
and he comes back and says to please take care of it soon.
that he is not giving me a ticket but that it is a real "risk" to be driving a car without an inspection... as if it is going to spontaneously combust. i'm sure he meant risk as there are hundreds of eagle eyed coppers out there waiting to ambush poor elin (right after she had to knock down her pretty house too) but that is not the point.

the point. the point is that karma is a nasty... person. i had JUST got done making fun of a few people who will not be named for being all preachy about how a negative attitude will bring more negatives and blah blah blah. so fine- point taken annoying sages of universal wisdom. i'll be positive.
positively ticket-free... until maybe possibly next time.

don't make 'em like they used to, except for a few fine exceptions (dear husband)

I recently received this picture from my aunt who was going through old pictures.
It is my grandpa.

I just think it is the greatest grandest picture of him- he was a horse rancher, a carpenter and business owner. He was an expert trick diver and a naval man. He remains a father, a husband and one of the kindest souls in the history of the world.
Over the holidays we were fortunate to get most of our family together, him included and I couldn't help but wonder how many years we all have together. I am so thankful that my children have met their great grandpa, even if N did just tell me today how he doesn't like when Gramps talks in the Donald Duck voice ;)
He is also still quite the character.

if only balanced whole food meals came in unprocessed cookie form (what an oxymoron)

it's a noodle N, just. EAT. it. for the love of all that is good in this great country of ours. just eat the (damn) noodle.
truly. it's a noodle. i will never for the life of me be able to understand WHY this child who in the morning would eat poached eggs on whole grain toast and drink a green smoothie (green because of spinach- spinach folks) can get all crazy defiant about eating a NOODLE.
there is no rhyme or reason.
some days he will eat everything i put in front of him. plus 72 snacks.
some days he will argue until he is purple- a complete refusal to try a bite of black beans that he has eaten consistently for the last four years.
damn you preschool resolve.
i thought this food fickle ridiculousness was for infants.

everyone is all summing up their years and I just ramble aimlessly about one day

We had planned on staying in for New Years. Well. Actually... we had planned on having a get together with some friends at our very merry home but my being sick all week put a damper on a sanitary and even a vaccuumed home and also put a damper on assuring that my guests would avoid a pandemic producing plague.
Anyway, we were not going to leave the house except to return the final Harry Potter DVD that I may have stayed up until three am the night before watching. And oh my gosh- so. very. good. I couldn't even talk about it with A because he has sworn off watching it until he finishes reading the series. Since he only reads them on breaks and has about 14.7 billion pages to go in book 5, it might just be awhile...
So anyway AGAIN (maybe my first resolution should be to only let one of my personalities write a blog post at a time but where is the fun in that really) when 6:15 rolled around and I couldn't get a solid answer about what to cook for our personal home bound "party" I declared we were eating out. Which was perfect because I felt very strange about wearing sweatpants and not having any makeup on for New Years Eve and A would've thought me crazy(er) if I had gone up to change into knee high boots and jewelry for a night in. In retrospect, he probably still thought I was crazy because we were not driving downtown or anything but going to 1 of about 3 restaurants here where the other diners were probably wearing Happy New Year sweaters and pleated jeans.
We arrived and the place looked a little empty but the sign said they close at the very late hour of nine... we figured we'd have time to totally rock out and close the place down before taking out our false teeth and turning in for the night far away from all the crazy youngsters. But then everyone was all bitchy and we second guessed our decision. Of course we had already ordered and then found out that indeed, on this very festive holiday, they were closing their doors at... seven. A mere 12 minutes post ordering. Sooooo we changed it to go and came back home to eat. It was perfect because we avoided the inevitable restaurant meltdown that surely would have come from not being able to spend more than 12 minutes staring at the fisheeees in the aquarium and plus we didn't feel like we had to leave a huge tip. Plus I got to wear my new motorcycle boots and return Harry to his redbox.

I did feel like a wasted an outfit though, and since this is a period in my life that I like to refer to as chubby girl in holiday pajamas, every single ensemble that makes me NOT want to smash my mirrors is a personal triumph. So I asked N if he wanted to take my picture and my very talented four year old jumped at the chance:

And then I thought I should acknowlege my accessories since you can't see them in the masterpiece above:

Cardigan: Target, Belt: Gift, Necklace: Kohls

Boots: Old Navy

Bracelet: Gift (but i think it's from Kohls)

I notice that I recently posted a picture of me in a belted sweater. Lest you think that I am in a style rut, let me assure you that I have not worn the look since that last post. I have however, been sheathed in a scarf almost as often as my yoga pants so maybe I do need to examine my rut potential (that sounds dirty but I am not going to change it).
Once we were home, I couldn't trudge around in my boots all night because my badass-ness would scare Carson Daly off the TV and plus the dog barked everytime I stepped too hard on the kitchen tile.
Sooo I tried to find a cute little "effortless" hang around outfit that made my husband happy to have someone to kiss at nidnight but since chubby girl in holiday pajamas is all up in my bedroom, I had issues and just sorta took my accessories off and rolled up  my jeans. Resolution number two is to kick that beoch out because she is stretching out my expensive underwear.

Then came our party. N declared that it must contain hot chocolate (done) and cookies (done) and I declared it must contain alcohol, even if it was only for A (the husband, not the daughter) and I.

I made up this GORGEOUS holiday sangria because it doesn't seem like you are lushing it up if you drink one glass at a time from a pretty pitcher. Mark it down as yet another pinterest success along with the equally GORGEOUS cranberry salsa that I may as well have just eaten with a spoon and ignored the tortilla chips. Seriously, yum.

It also included Super Mario Cart, pointing out body parts on stuffed animals and the usual squabbling but honestly who would I rather spend the night with??

Happy New Year All- May you have a truly blessed year~

PS- Linking up with Mandy and Harper at  The Haps  today- check them out!